What stability looks like so far (1 year on meds)

I started my medication in mid 2020 after my diagnosis, and I reached the full dose I’m currently on in August 2020. Thought I’d show what my mood has been like since then, and reflect a bit on the past year. I have been tracking my mood using the Bipolar UK mood scale and my…More

“The first step to getting better is wanting to get better”

I agree. You don’t get anywhere if you don’t want to get better. But at the same time, I think this has become a platitude that gets passed around mindlessly without really thinking about what comes after the first step. I think it comes from good intentions, from wanting to give people a little push…More

Life before diagnosis

Once I had a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and I achieved some mood stability, I went through a short period of mourning the past and the perceived loss of possibilities (the latter will be for a different post). It was short because I had already gone through that kind of process twice: first coming to…More

Two suicide attampts later… I am happy

CONTENT WARNING: suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, overdoses, hallucinations International list of suicide helplines here. The following is based on journal entries I wrote over the past 16 months and it is centred around two suicide attempts. Please don’t read if you think this will be upsetting or triggering for you.More

The sunshine

This is something I wrote a couple years ago. I was staying in a crisis house, undiagnosed at the time, and someone thought a bunch of empty platitudes would help me. ///// Someone asked me how I’m doing, said hopefully I see the sunshine now. I appreciate the good intentions. The issue is not that…More

Establishing a housekeeping routine

For me, cleaning and keeping things tidy is one of the first things I start to struggle with when a depressive episode starts. Here I want to show not just how I successfully established a sustainable housekeeping routine, but also share how depressive episodes affected me in that regard. I want to share this for…More